The Lizard in the Fire. Chapter 1 A story of cleaving to our spouse. Audio version.

The Lizard in the Fire story 

Audio version. I have tried to make this audio version more user-friendly by using track markers as to what is being discussed there. I hope this makes accessing what you might be interested in easier, instead of having to listen through the whole track. I have also mentioned  MKP (Mankind project) which is a men’s movement around Rites of passage and initiation. I also made reference to an NWTA which is a New Warrior Training Adventure run by MKP topical at the time of recording. Very difficult to now edit those bits out. I am writing a written version of this story detail by detail.

The beginning of the Lizard in the fire story. Poem by Fredrick Holderian, “Oh friends we arrived too late”. A poem about:



Making sacred

Relationship denied the fall, the descent into our flat world, and the punishments of time.

Redemption of the situation, Poets and storytellers, “disciples of the Wild-one who used to stroll through the field through the whole divine night.”

  Audio version.  Bread & Wine Friedrich Holderlin.

Oh Friends we arrived too late. The divine energies are still alive, but isolated above us, in the archetypical world.

They keep on going there, and apparently, don’t bother if humans live or not……..and that is a heavenly mercy.

Sometimes a human’s clay is not strong enough to take the divine water. Human beings can carry the divine only sometimes.

What is living now? Night dreams of them. But craziness helps, so does sleep. Grief and night toughen us.

Until people capable of sacrifice once more rock in the iron cradle, desire people, like the ancients, strong enough for that water.

In thunderstorms, it will arrive. I have the feeling often meanwhile it is better to sleep since the guest comes so seldom;

we waste our lives waiting, and I haven’t the faintest idea how to act or talk…in the lean years who needs poets??

But poets as you say are like the holy disciple of the wild one. The one who used to stroll over the fields and through the enormous forest through the whole divine night.

 “I think or intuit that there are such things as inverted guardians. The vessel has to be ready and prepared before something can come into the light. Like in Alchemy the vessel has to be strong enough for the Opus otherwise the transformation can not take place.”  Sam Sleeman


A chapter on the nature of kingship and what Kingships means to us personally.  Link to a chapter on Kingship.

Kingship is always sacral, always sacrificing its self for the kingdom and for those who follow.

The presence of a good King is always limiting firepower in any dispute. To ensure abuse is not taking place.





Note to listeners. The audio is quite loud just reduce the volume on the slider right-hand side of the voice note. That also improves the quality of the recording. If you hover over the soundbar you can move the slider up and down to find what you may be interested in.


The first section of the Lizard in the Fire story with some references to the Iron John story.

Audio track markers.

00:00 until 02:24     Our relationship to the world around us and each other.

02:24 until 04:38      Poem by Fredrick Holderin. Bread and Wine.

04:38 until 08:20      First section of the story.  Being ugly around the house.

08:20 until 13:00      What being ugly around the house means in terms of Gender-Based Violence. Community, common sense.

13:00 until 17:06        The inner child our loss of Soul. The cost of the loss of Soul.

Audio track markers part 2.

00:00 until 01:37       The story continues.

01:37 until 03:20       Unpacking-Leaving the boy in the wilderness. What it means to die if he laid

                                      down beside a woman.

03:20 until 04:04     Dying to what he was to become what he could be tomorrow. -Preparing for a   

                                      relationship with the ecstatic.

04:46 until 08:50     The story continues. The young girl arrives-our Soul. Conversation with the young girl. Do you remember how much we had to                                            say to each other as the relationship started? Yes, we do.

08:50 until 11:00      The Fire and some of its meaning. The Fire of community.

11:00 until 13:25       Logs in the fire as blessings and prayers of the community.

13:25 until 14:19       Why does the young man have to die? What is achieved by his death?

14:19 until 15:46       The story continues.

15:46 until 16:23       This fire is the fire in the relationship that is going to burn so long as the relationship lasts.

16:23 until 16:42      The fire of expectation and blessings of the community and the couples expectation and blessing for each other.

16:42 until 18:46      The beginning of the ritual of the mystical marriage.

16:46 until 18:47      The story continues till the end. The dilemma question.

What are you going to do?

The whole narrative of “The Lizard in the fire ” story Ending with the dilemma question. Some unpacking also as laid out above.

The implications of the question asked. The life and the death of the Lizard and the consequences that flow from each decision.

  Track 3 Audio track markers.

00:00 until  01:09                     The dilemma questions again

01:09 until  02:32                    “The boy’s mother. The young girl’s mother-in-law. Psychically

                                                      the mother  in law needs to die along with the Lizard

02:32 until  03:03                     If the Lizard lives the Girl dies. Her Soul dies, something of her spirit dies as well or becomes unavailable in the                                                                         relationship. She becomes “Witchy” critical, demanding, crabby, un-sympathy judgemental.

03:03 until  03:33                     Cutting away from mother and cleaving to one’s spouse.

03:33 until  04:05                     Women get abandoned, abused, and taken for granted.

04:00 until  04:00                    Tactic of Ego and tyrants “divide and conquer”

04:31 until the end.                  The Lizard and the key in Iron John. Something has to die to make this relationship work

Some thoughts on the Wilderness sometimes called the enormous forest a symbol for the “Great Self”  or “That still place” where we can go to find answers and ourselves. The Axis Mundi of ourselves. The importance of community in Rituals of maturity and Rites of passage.

Audio track 11:55

Audio track markers.

00:00 until  01:35               Making the story your journey

01:35 until  04:07                What does it mean that the boy dies as he makes love to the girl

                                               (His Soul).  There is no physical death in stories. What did the boy have to die to? Dying to who or what we were to become                                                    what we could be.    Who is in the wedding car as it leaves the church?

04:07 until  06:33              Boys give their witchy part away to their mothers. Because their mothers wanted a nice boy. Sons want that smile of                                                               approval from mum

06:33 until  08:41               Girls give their tyrants to their fathers to get what they want from

                                                Dad. That smile of approval.

08:44 until  08:51               Our Soul is older than our Ego and knows what to do.

08:51 until  09:46               Finding the Crone the old wise on at the centre of the wilderness The Great Mother.

09:46 until  10:15                Lighting the fire of community

10:15 until the end.             Sacrifice and making sacred.

Track 4 Audio track markers.

00:00 until  03:03                  How do we get to the wilderness?

                                                    Three days of sitting by the fire.

                                                    The “Wilderness is a special place to find yourself” in an altered

                                                    state of consciousness

03:03 until  03:30                  What does it mean “The bay was acting ugly around the house”

                                                   It means exactly what the whole world is experiencing as  “Gender-based Violence” 

03:30 until  04:17                  Rites of passage vs Rights of passage and quotes from the Vision Quest book

04:17 until  06:00                  When there is no “Wilderness” the Genius, the gifts and talents are not brought forward and the community collapses.

                                                   (As ours is)

What has to die the cement this relationship, what it means to clever to your spouse in the Biblical sense. The fire of the community and the witnessing of the lizard’s death. Why the lizard has to die and what is the gift of the lizard’s sacrifice. 

Track 5 Audio track markers.

00:00 until  00:41                 Did you make a decision as to what has to die?

00:41 until  00:53                  For the marriage between Ego and Soul to take place some things in this world has to die.

00:53 until  02:43                  The community builds this fir of purification so this marriage can take place and perhaps save the world.

02:43 until  03:40                  Whatever we have to die to the community has to witness this Death

03:40 until the end               Making a deal to escape this death.

For a print version of the narrative click here.

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