The Star Woman Chapter 03 A man living in a rented room. MGTOW.

The Star Woman Chapter 03 Living in a rented room.

Stories and how we understand them

So when we tell each other a story we spend a lot of time explaining the context or the history of what happened prior to the story unless the context is a given.  A story, any story doesn’t just happen in a vacuum it has a history which is important for the understanding of the story and the impact of the events.  The story takes place within a context we can accept even if that world is a fantasy. Stories require a context so we, the listener can journey with the people in the story and go on the adventure with them. We can get a glimpse of what is meant by the metaphor.

Metaphors can only work within some sort of context, soul supplies meaning, as much as we are ready for anyway. The word we use to describe a level in a multi-level building is “it’s on two-story building”. Like a building, a story has multiple layers and we automatically find our level as the story unfolds, next time we might go to a different level. The Ego is the part of us that needs to go the Journey. That journey is called the hero’s or the heroic journey, down the road less traveled to retrieve the prize, the cure for the wasteland. So there is two thrusts here one is to obtain the magic elixir to cure the wasteland. The other seeming by-product of the first and at the same time the motivator of the journey to transform Ego through the journey so the Ego can claim its prize, the marriage to Soul. When the soul and the ego make this marriage, it’s called the mystical marriage or squaring the circle.  Then we “live happily ever after” or until the first disagreement anyway. Disagreement is how we got separated in the first place. Not all of this happens in our world though, rather some of it happens in a world outside of time, simply called the other world.


Narrative: In the Star woman story, we find the young uninitiated man living alone renting a room on top of a garage at somebody else’s house. The owner of the room was a middle-aged divorced woman. To make ends meet she rented out the room with certain rules. No drinking, no women, no loud music, no pissing in the garden, no revving up his motorbike and so on. The young man was a motor mechanic, a boilermaker, a fitter and turner something like that. 

In the Star woman story, we find the young (uninitiated)  man living alone on top of a garage at somebody else’s house. Somebody else’s implies not his own family who are never mentioned in the story, No parents, no family, no friends, no community, this man is alone in the world. Indeed the only people mentioned in the beginning of the story are the young man and the landlady. Remember that whoever is mentioned at the beginning of a story describes the Psychodynamic that the story will deal with. The beginning of the story the alienation of the young man from community and family and the domain where he finds himself also dealt with are the dreams and aspirations of the young man for love and connection across the contrasexual divide in order to complete himself. Sometimes in stories what is not mentioned as important as what is mentioned. 


What do I mean by uninitiated?

The word is loaded now and means many different things to different people, from Hazing at school and universities, to initiation schools in South Africa, to secret societies, going to the mountain, paying your dues and so on. However, there is a Universal road map for Initiation and it looks like this ideally:

  1. The child bonds with the mother in Utero and for the first seven years lives within the psychic protective cloak of the mother. This metaphorical cloak is both protective and nurturing. The mother also is hugely instrumental in teaching the young child how to live in the community and geography of where they are borne. The psychology of the family, religion, culture, nation and the geography of the land.”Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man.” Jesuit maxim. 
  2. At about the age of seven, the child naturally begins to look over the fence of home and discovers a whole world out there for exploring, who in the family is going out there? dad of course. So very naturally at this time the child wants to explore the outside world, Dad is the safe guide, and so bonding with the father takes place and with the Masculine world as opposed to the feminine world of the mother. 
  3. Apart from the birth process, these two stages are not initiations, the parents cannot do the initiation work. Too much shadow too many judgments and expectations between the parent and the child. The other older members of the community were the ones to do the initiation. Their relationship with the child is different than the protective physical life-sustaining role of the parents. Herein lies a lot of the tension of modern parenting, the expectation, and belief of the parents/parent that they have to everything for the child. And the child’s unreasonable expectation that their parents/parent should do this undefined thing and deliver them their spiritual inheritance.
  4. At about 14 something else happens. If the above two processes have gone well the elders of the group step in, Its time to leave the Father’s realm and turn our attention to something transpersonal something divine. The elders hold in trust the spiritual birthright of the child and in this initiation show the child their spiritual inheritance, what that means and how it will heal and nourish the community, Give purpose to life and reveal, to invite out of each individual their life’s missions and life’s interconnectedness to everything. 

This is the ideal, probably not what happens in practice. To unpack this requires a whole chapter by itself indeed whole books have been written about this. So briefly for the purposes of our Star-woman story here is what we need to know. 

  1. When the Mother realm is toxic for whatever reason the child feels unsafe and unloved and above all anxious in the world when the mother is overprotective and clawing the child does not feel to leave to explore the outside world and so see what’s outside.
  2. In a world of absent fathers both physically and emotionally the second phase has to be taken up by the mother. Mother is just not equipped to do this her beliefs and understanding take the child down a different road. Indeed the mother and the boy child may set up an alliance against the father this is a disaster for the boy child. In my opinion, this creates the psychodynamic for violence directed toward women, children and the planet. For the girl child, it just leaves her unbalanced and dominated by the Feminine with no internal warrior to protect her against the hostile force of the uninitiated males.

Loss of soul.  Anthropologists describe a condition among primitive people called “Loss of soul” 1   In this condition a person is out of themselves, unable to find either the outer connection between humans or the inner connection to Self.

Therefore, they are unable to take part in society, rituals, and traditions.  They are the living dead, the connection to family, to totem, to nature, is gone.   Until the soul is regained true humanity is not possible.  Such a person is “not there.” (Far out) It is as though that person had never been given a name, never been initiated, never come into real being.  I think and feel this is what we call depression.

The soul may not only be lost, but also may be possessed, bewitched, ill, transported into an object, animal, place, or another person in the other world.  Without Soul there is a loss of a sense of belonging and the sense of being in communion with the powers and the transpersonal (gods.)  They are no longer reachable: no prayer, nor sacrifice, no dance, (No psychotherapy, no counseling, no rehabilitation) can reach them.  The personal myth and the connection to the larger myth of community as a reason for existence is lost. Not being sick with disease nor out of their minds we become lonely.   Simply the soul is lost and death may follow. Here too we hear a description of depression, where along with the will forces the life force has left the body or is not available. Our root metaphor from a parent’s and guardian’s point of view has to be that human behavior is understandable because it has an inside meaning.

 Below are the views and an expression of a world-famous Jungian Lecture and writer James Hillman, 1 who has come as close to Soul in his work, as pure mathematicians have come to soul in Quantum physics.  I have chosen to use this description because I can easily identify with the soul as described.

Loss of connection, loss of soul.

Narrative: living alone renting a room on top of a garage at somebody else’s house. At the beginning of the story, the alienation of the young man from community and family and the domain where he finds himself also dealt with are the dreams and aspirations of the young man for love and connection across the contrasexual divide in order to complete himself. 

The imperialism of the Ego and status quo. Is represented by the landlady. While we understand the economics of renting out a room there is also the attitude and rules that come with the room. The rules further separate and alienate the young man from connection to community and denies the youth it’s youthful expression. Divide and conquer is an old military tactic and still works today in cases of abuse and intimidation. This is exactly where the Status Quo wants us, alienated from the loving support of community, support from friends and people who would wish us well. Believing the idea that education instilled in us that there is a shortage of recourse and that we have to fight for our share. Otherwise, why would we endure living on top of somebody’s garage, cut off from all support? In the adventures of “Huckleberry Fin” we meet the  Domesticating Aunts with her judgments and put-downs an agent of the status quo again. This landlady has been around us for a while. (The movie  Huckleberry Fin” a good watch)

MGTOW.  MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY.  Cowboys don’t cry. Men riding off into the sunset alone. Lee  Marvin in Paint your wagon Sang the song “I was born under a wandering star, I know where hell is, hell is in hello, never knew a sight that didn’t better looking back.” 

So I read that there is a lack of enthusiasm for men to get married, A backlash against the “me too” movement and the high financial cost of divorce. Coupled with a high divorce rate the situation doesn’t look good. It is easy to document the ills of our society the cure might prove more difficult. 

The planet Earth mystery school offers a wide range of opportunities to work through scenarios, however, the root metaphor remains the same, Our expulsion from paradise and the Journey back to Ego’s reunion with soul. And “They lived happily ever after.”


Sam Sleeman.

Johannesburg 2020 June










Loss of soul. Taken loosely from “A Blue Fire ”  By James Hillman. ISBN 0-06-016132-9

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