The Lizard in the Fire Chapter 5 Being ugly around the house.
The Lizard in the Fire Chapter:5 Unpacking details in the story up until “The young girl arrives, our Soul.
Full narrative: Lizard in the Fire.
The use of the word Soul here. Towards an understanding of Soul.
The star woman story: How we lose our connection to Soul.
The beginning of the Lizard in the Fire story.
The narrative says: Once upon a time. The son was going through puberty and was behaving badly around the house as teenagers can. The mother said to the father, “It’s time he goes out to the wilderness to live by himself for a while. The father agrees and announces to the boy that tomorrow they are going to the wilderness and that he will have to live there alone for a while.
Remembering that whoever is mentioned first tells us with the psychodynamic we are dealing with.” there was a man and wife who had a son”. This story is going to deal with the relationship between the father, the mother, and the son, but it goes deeper than that it goes to the relationship between the Masculine as a father, the Feminine as a mother, and the evolving Soul of the son. Why evolving Soul of the son? This evolution of the boy’s Soul is the whole point of the story. The story has much to tell us about this process even today in 2021.
What does “behaving badly around the house” mean?
This statement covers so much of where we are in our communities around the world. We talk now about Gender-based violence, this phrase is a buzzword and assumes that any physical or emotional hurt experienced by females is based on gender alone which is obviously not true. The violence perpetrated on women and children has multiple causes and is not based on gender alone despite appearances.
Ever-increasing violence in our communities around the world. There is an increasing level of violence in our cultures reported worldwide and most of that is directed at the vulnerable. Women, children, and also men. Men who have less rank than others are also exploited. There is the violence of intimidation perpetrated on this group by the status quo and anybody who has ranked over them.
“When “boys” behave badly around the house” in this case “boys” are a symbol for all males and a metaphor for violence against women. children, the planet, and the vulnerable including men. This is a worldwide phenomenon and in general, is caused by not being able to have the wilderness experience provided by the community we live in.
Why is the boy being ugly around the house? In the narrative of the story, the mother and the father agree that due to the boy’s behaviour it is time to have the wilderness experience. We all seem to have an internal clock that causes bodily changes at puberty. Puberty is an outward manifestation of an internal stage or process of Soul/Ego development. This is a time when we either try to rebel against the restrictions of the status quo or, give up on ourselves and join the status quo for acceptance and security of the heard that adhering to the rule of the status quo offers.
Ego Soul separation. This is the process where Ego is finally separated from Soul to gain acceptance by the status quo. Soul goes and lives in the wilderness or the enormous forest.
Like the Zebra metaphor, when studying a heard of zebras if you pick out a particular zebra to follow and look away, then which one is which? The decision was to mark a particular with red paint on its bum. Ok so now we know which is our zebra. The only thing was as soon as they did that the lions killed the zebra. Because now they could identify one zebra. A good metaphor for most human behavior and the safety of conforming to be part of the herd.
This capitulation to the safety of the herd has some serious unintended consequences. One is that during Ego formation much of our Soul goes into shadow. Talking about violence once the soul is denied all atrocities are possible. Most of the violence we see in the world is perpetrated by individuals who are disconnected from their Soul. Those lives also lack purpose and experience an emptiness that is felt as dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with life and creates resentment in general against life and anybody or anything that is different from the official herd. Be it color of skin, race, language cultural behaviors, sexual orientation, and of course religion.
Rebellion: “the boy can also act ugly around the hose as an act of rebellion”. There are many reasons for teenage rebellion and for rebellion in general. Let’s stick with teenagers for now as symbolised by our young boy.
Do as I say not as I do. Sometimes I’m asked,” What do you do?” Answer “ Whatever it takes!” Parenting in our time is like that, Parents must capitulate their personal principles often just to keep the house running and cover the physical costs of having a family. Parents have capitulated to the status quo to enable this for their home and for their children. The children taking the home and parents for granted see the difference between what the parents say and what they do. The difference teachers the children to develop have a parental bullshit radar which works well. nobody can cut right through you persona shiel like you own children. Teenagers make many judgments about parents, culture, society, and religion at this time. The peer group begins form. A different herd of (Zebras) to replace parental affection and authority. When the children flock together.
What are they waiting for what are they flocking for? For somebody to take them to the wilderness or offer them a wilderness experience.
All of this and more is covered by the line “The son was going through puberty and was behaving badly around the house as teenagers can.”
I have laid also laid out this same territory at this link: The journey from the head to the heart.
“The parents decide mutually that is time for the boy to go to the wilderness” “It’s time he goes out to the wilderness to live by himself for a while”.
We can understand from this mutual consent of the parents that the parents understood what was happening. The motivation for the boy’s behaviour and its cure. The change of behaviour at thirteen is quite remarkable, having lived through this process four time myself with my children and of course once myself. As puberty kicks in there are many physical changes, hormonal changes, and emotions that overwhelm the young adult. I have often wondered why at this point we culturally abandon our children to themselves and the peer group they create to replace parenting. Wow, that’s a huge generalisation and it’s not always true. Not all of the time and not for everybody. And yet is also true.
What do I mean by abandonment? At the very time, the Grandparents or the elders should step in and offer the child their spiritual/Soul inheritance the elders are missing. They are in old age homes and disregarded as having no relevance to a modern time (not computers or cell phone literate for that matter) The elders are represented by the Crone who lives at the centre of the wilderness. But I get ahead of the story.
The boy’s parents at least knew how to get to the wilderness. The wilderness is not a place, rather it is a state of consciousness. The boy’s parents were able to take the boy to that place. This place is called many things. The centre, the Axis Mundi, that still place, the Self of Jungian thought, the now, the eternal moment, God’s time, the only time anything happens is now, etc.
The wilderness is a place at the very centre of our being. That still place of eternal knowing. This is the very core of our being and stands outside of linear time. It is the place where we can connect to the eternal. This is this place where the conflicts of adolescence may be resolved. This is the place where we may get insight into our destiny for this life. This is the place where we may see our relationship with others. This is the place where we meet our Soul and move to integrate that Soul into Ego consciousness. Like a Vision Quest, it may take several years to fulfill the vision received in the wilderness.
How long do we have to live in the Wilderness? As long as it takes! In the story it is one trip, in life, it may take many trips some good some bad. It takes as long as it takes, and as often as it takes.
Setting up camp the father mentioned that if he (the son) should ever lay down with a woman he would die. At nightfall, the father left the son alone in the wilderness.